Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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