1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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