Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
