i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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