Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Jerry, you need to find god
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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