in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
