You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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