it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize