Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
