If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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