were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
