i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize