Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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