We're like a lot better than the average bears
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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