Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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