Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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