hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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