if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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