what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
