HIV tests are more positive than that guy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize