I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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