if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize