my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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