I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
