I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
