I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
