she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
