i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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