Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
