Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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