what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
