i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
