do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize