dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
