There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
vagina is talking i cant
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
