names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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