Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
