Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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