Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
