can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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