What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
