I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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