even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
two words: eviction party
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
