how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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