Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
