I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
