I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
