The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
