I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
