i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
