don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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