Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just cropdusted the office
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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