Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
