This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He better not be in your backpack
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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