I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
