Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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