He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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