oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
