Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize