I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
