walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
