Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
