wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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