They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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