Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The uberlube is also flammable
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
