I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
