Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
