Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
