i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
