please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
