My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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