all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize