He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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