First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
