I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
