At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
