After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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