it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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