dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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