We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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