ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize