Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
