I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
