READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
