No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
