You can't special order awesome
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
