You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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