It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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