Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
